Treasures in the Deep

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We are trained from birth that sadness is bad and expressing it should be avoided at all costs.

I say from birth because even as an infant, we witness parents go into panick mode when a baby is crying. As a toddler, we’re told to stop crying. As adults we are made to believe it makes us weak.

But what if our avoidance expressing the pain and sadness we feel, is the very thing keeping us sad. What if I told you at the bottom of that emotion, is a lesson or an opportunity for breakthrough. Avoiding it only keeps you in the cycle. How many toxic relationships and work environments have we remained in long past their expiration because we wanted to avoid the sadness that came with moving on? And how many fresh and new and beautiful opportunities are we passing up because of it. How many lives are we missing the chance to impact because we won’t face the pain, heal and move on?

I posed this question to a friend recently, “how many people are dying for us to get healed so that they can too?”


Avoiding the pain prevents the healing.


I learned in my most recent coaches training course that there is new energy to be created at the bottom of our emotions. That new energy can be channeled into forming new ideas, pursuing new projects, or simply catapulting us forward.

Picture diving to the depths of the sea and coming back up with pearls. The only way you reach them is by getting to the bottom of it.

Stop avoiding your emotions.

Get to the bottom of it.

What are they trying to tell you?

What new seasons will they take you into once you’ve learned those lessons.

What new joy can come of getting to the bottom of your pain?

And how many people will be touched when you do?

Side: In my e-book “The Black Woman In Leadership’s Survival Guide,” I recommend scheduling time to cry, lest you get bitter and it affect your leadership. (Check it out on the Resources page)

Schedule time of stillness to sit and feel any emotions that may be lingering at the surface today. Process how what happened made you feel. Don’t run when painful memories surface. Ask yourself, what is this telling me? Get to the bottom it. Get it out, whether out loud or on paper.


If you have trouble doing this alone, seek a counselor, friend or coach.


Get to the bottom of it. The world is waiting on you!




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