Girlfriend’s Guide to Detoxifying Your Boyfriend

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We’ve all heard it used recently, ‘toxic.’ Toxicity as it pertains to the male species or unhealthy relationships.

My birthday is this weekend and as I was preparing for my birthday look and seeking to detox all of the garbage I have been ingesting over the last few weeks, I came across some resounding themes. Drink more water. Eat more spinach. Purge from this or that.

I thought – that’s easy enough. So I’ve been on this miserable diet for the last 24 hours, but its working! I feel lighter already. I’m more energized, happier and looking forward to the birthday weekend ahead!

But I got to thinking, after seeing a post on social media today, why can’t it be this easy with relationships. When you’re doing life with someone you love, but they drain you the same way the poor diet I’m recovering from has, why can’t we just detoxify them and make them pure and enjoyable again?

After you’ve gotten past that “honeymoon” phase, as they call it, and the butterflies fade, and you start to question their every motive, and suddenly the blinders are off, and you’re thinking how in the hell did I fall for this fool. Yeah, that part.

It can be hard to accept that the person you love is toxic for you. No matter how many articles you read, no matter how stagnant you feel, no matter how many of your loved ones are flailing the red flags in front of you for you to see.

We’d rather fix it. Like everything else in our lives. We’re capable, we’re strong, we’re resourceful… we can fix it {them} right?


Well, look no further, I’ve put together the remedy.

Here’s the 3 things you need to do to in order to detoxify your boyfriend:

  1. Cut off all ties to his long time male friends – They are poison. Every bit of progress you see in him is instantly reverted when he gets around them. They’re the reason for all of his bad decisions. Limit his interactions with them at all costs.
  2. Eliminate his access to social media – He’s such a strong and capable man without all of the depressing reminders that he’s not, which then lead to self-deprecating behaviors to fill the voids left by his feelings of inadequacy. Not to mention all of the girls in scantily clad… well, let’s be honest.. NOTHING on. Put him in a box. Only let him out to feed him.
  3.  Force feed him scripture till he’s blue in the face – Once you’ve rescued him from all of his former connections and deprived him of access to the free world, then you’ve gotta replace of that with… Do you see where I’m going with this?

Nothing can change that man but the Holy Spirit himself, sis. It’s a joke. That’s not a relationship, its manipulation. Free him.


Here’s a convicting scripture that’s renewing my mind: You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Matthew 7:16

Simple. If he’s bearing toxic “fruit,” he’s toxic. No one can detoxify that man but Jesus. See a similar scripture on fruits and vines in John 15:4.

If the fruits of growth and maturity aren’t showing up and replacing the former toxicity that once existed, be real with yourself. Leave.

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9 months ago

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